The Inexplicable Power of Change
by YouKnowYouLoveMe220
Summary: Jenny's back in town, apologizing to everyone she ever hurt, and making amends. This new version of J seems so different from the old backstabbing, kniving girl we used to know. She changed. Question is, did she change for the better, or for the wors
1. The Infamous Jenny Humphrey

So, just a warning that this is my first real fanfic! Also, I am only thirteen years old writing this, so I'm sorry if it's not written on a college level, but you guys will just have to deal with it. Criticism in comments is fine, I love hearing what tips you guys can give me on my writing, but please don't be too harsh on me. As I said, I am only thirteen. That said, I really hope you like my fanfic!

Disclaimer: I do not, nor will I ever, own Gossip Girl. If I did, Jenny and Nate would be together by now!

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**Nate's POV**

I sit on a chair in Starbucks, debating weather I want a coffee today, or some other drink. After only a moment, I decide that it was a completely stupid thing to waste time thinking about, and stand up to step in line just as the door opens and a gust of wind sends a chill through the entire coffee shop. I glance up briefly, a habit I've gotten into doing when anyone enters, and can't help it when my eyes stay on the girl for a good minute longer than they should. She's beautiful. Not the kind of beautiful that girl's obtain by piling mountains of make on to their faces, but the beautiful that can only be defined as natural; real. When I look at her for the second time, I note that she has dark sapphire blue eyes, long, pale legs, and mile-long blonde hair that cascades down her back in unnaturally perfect waves. I step into line directly behind her, and at the exact second I hear her order a tall vanilla mocha in a voice that is way too familiar. I'm trying to figure out _why_ the voice is so familiar when it is my turn to order. "One grande peppermint mocha hot chocolate, please," I say, hardly noticing the young woman behind the counter, who twirls her hair and smiles when saying something that I don't even hear. Sure, she's pretty, but nothing compared to the girl I currently had my eyes on.

**Jenny's POV**

"Tall vanilla mocha, grande peppermint mocha hot chocolate, tall vanilla bean frappachino!" The lady behind the counter calls out, placing three drinks down for whoever ordered them, before turning around to continue taking orders.

My eyes are glued to my blackberry's screen, so I just grab the first drink I see, figuring it must be mine. As I open the heavy glass doors to exit Starbucks not five minutes later, I feel a strong hand on my right shoulder, and quickly whirl around to see somebody that I never would have expected to see.

"Umm, I think you have my drink," The tall blonde says, motioning with his hand toward the Starbucks cup in my hand.

I look up, obviously confused confused, and open the cup in my hand to look inside. Upon seeing a very dark liquid, instead of the creamy vanilla mocha I expected, I laugh, "Oops! Sorry, my bad," smiling, I hand him the drink in exchange for what must be my vanilla mocha, which he had been holding, "I guess my dad's right. I really 'ought to stop texting so much! It truly is addicting! Especially on this new phone of mine!"

Nate laughs, a sound I really had missed during my time in Hudson with my mom. Yeah, it was a good time, and I really do feel that I am now much more put together than I ever was before; but this big crazy city of New York—well, it's my home.

"I'm Nate," He says suddenly, and I can't help but look at the boy like he's absolutely insane. I mean, I already know who he is. I've known the guy for years! "What's your name?"

Now I laugh, realizing this is probably some silly little joke of his, "My name? You must be kidding me!" Now Nate looks confused, and when his nose scrunching up in the way a little kid's would when told his skin was turning purple, I can tell that he was dead serious when asking me for my name.

"No… I'm not kidding. What, do you think you're way too good for me? So good that I can't even know your name?" Okay, now he legit looks offended, and I can't help but start laughing again!

"Nathaniel Archibald! I am amazed! My god, you leave the city for only a year and suddenly one of your best friends hardly remembers you. Does the name Jennifer Humphrey ring a bell? Little Humphrey? Jenny? Little J?"

"Jenny? But… no, it can't be you?" His nose scrunches up again as he tries to put two and two together.

"It's good to see you, too, Nate," I smile softly, giving him a playful punch in the shoulder.

"No, I didn't mean that. It's just, well… wow you look different."

"Thanks I think? I mean, is that a good thing or a bad thing?" I ask, making it obvious that I was now the confused one.

"Good. Definitely good," He blurts out, "I mean, you used to wear so much make up and all, but now…"

"Yeah, I don't like make up all that much anymore. Too time consuming, and you take it off at the end of the day anyways. I mean, I love looking pretty as much as the next girl, but really, what's the point?" I ask, suddenly realizing that we are still standing in the doorway of Starbucks, blocking about fifteen people from leaving, and move to the side.

"Wow, you really have changed," Nate says, mimicking my action and moving to the side. "So, what brings the infamous Jenny Humphrey back into the big city?"

"Honest? I'm really trying to get my life straight again, and as much as it pains me to say it, that involves getting back the trust of Serena, Lily, my dad, Dan, Blaire, Vanessa, and, even you. So what do you say, want to be the first person to forgive me for my horrendous actions of the past? Make amends?" I ask, hoping badly that he will forgive. After all, I really do feel horrible for everything I put him through in the past.

"Truthfully, worse things have happened in my life since you and your childish scheming. I mean, your brother had a scare with himself being the father of Georgina's baby, a girl named Juliet came to town and spent her days plotting to all but kill Serena, and, well, you can imagine a lot has happened. So yeah, I guess I'll forgive you for messing with my relationship with Vanessa, and then mine with Serena. We're all broken up anyways, so what does it matter anymore?" Nate shrugs.

"Really? The flawless couple, Serena and Nate, have broken up during my absence?" I ask, faking amazement, as though I didn't know all of this already.

"Yeah. Actually, she got back together with your brother," He says, seeming a bit distracted. "So when did you get back anyways?"  
"I just got in late last night. Decided it would be better not to wake anybody so I crashed at the loft and decided to surprise Dad, Lily, Dan, Eric, and everyone in the morning, which happens to be now," I say, hinting that I am going to be late.

"Well you should probably get going, then. Wouldn't want to miss your dad's famous blueberry waffles, now would you?"

"I guess not," I say, beginning to walk in the other direction before turning around once more, "It was nice to see you again, Nate. I'm really glad you could forgive me for all the horrible things I have done."

"Of course, Jenny. But don't go thinking that Serena, Blaire, Dan, Vanessa, and your dad will be as forgiving of your actions. I know you're really trying to turn your life around now, Jen, but sometimes people really have trouble leaving the past in the past. You've done some really horrible things, Jenny; especially to Serena. I just hope for your sake that you have changed, and that you're not the one to get hurt this time," Nate says, sipping his grande peppermint mocha hot chocolate.

I nod, about to reply when I hear a loud buzzing coming from my purse, and find the source to be none other than my cell phone. I look at Nate, my eye's saying that I had to read the text as his phone starting buzzing as well, and I know who it is in a second.

_This just in my fellow New Yorkers: A tall blonde spotted stepping out of Starbucks on 47th Street, with none other than our good friend, Nate Archibald. Could it be that Little J has returned from her Little Trip? My sources say yes, and if I don't stand corrected, which I never do, our favorite blonde Humphrey might just be here for good._

_You know you love me.  
XOXO,  
__Gossip Girl_

I've been back in New York City for only a day, and she's already tracked me down? I roll my eyes at my Blackberry's screen, shoving the phone back deep into my bag before looking up at Nate, who had read the message as well. "Don't worry about me, Nate. I know what people think of me, the reputation I have around here, and though I probably won't enjoy it, I'm going to have to deal with the consequences for the old Jenny's actions. I just don't want you involved in any of this right now, so just let me deal with everything. Despite anything Gossip Girl says, I'm not Little J anymore. I can take care of myself, and I will do just that." I tell him, hoping he can't see the weakness in my eyes, "As I said, it was really nice to see you again, Nate. Thanks for the warning."

That's when I turn away from him, and walk stiffly down the street, my arm raised in the air in an attempt to get a taxi. After several moments one pulls over, and an overweight man rolls down the window, releasing the smell of a cigar into the air before saying, "Where can I take you, little lady?"

I tell him and get in the backseat of the car, crossing my right leg over my left and watching out the window until we arrive.

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So there you have it! Chapter One! I am going to try to give you guys an update at least once a week. Please review, critique, give suggestions, etcetera! I love the love! Haha!


	2. Unacceptable Behavior

Okay, so maybe it took me a couple of days longer than a week to update, but it was New Years, so what can I say? Anyways, this is kind of a harsh chapter, so I apologize in advance. Don't ask me where I'm going with the plot of this fanfic, cause I really don't know yet; I'm just writing whatever pops into my head.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, nor do I own any of the characters featured in this fanfiction.

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**Jenny's POV**

I run out of the dark, silver colored elevator, my black kitten heels clanking loudly against white and black marble as the scent of my dad's famous blueberry waffles fill the air. I can't help but stop in my tracks to sniff the air for a minute, a wide smile spreading across my face as I recognize the glorious scent. As I inhale the familiar scent, I can't help but take a few steps backwards, hesitating at the door. Yes, this is supposed to be my home too, but to be completely honest, I am not positively sure that I will be welcomed home with open arms. Nonetheless, I reach a pale, shaky hand out to knock on the white door, before realizing someone is already opening it from the other side.

"Rufus dear, would you mind cleaning up once everyone has finished eating? I'm afraid I have to go run a few errands out in the city, and I promised Eleanor that—" Lily van der Woodsen's voice falters as she catches sight of me, looking me over for a moment with her light colored eyes. "Jenny…"

"Hi Lily," I say, forcing an incredibly awkward smile onto my face as I begin to pick at a loose strand at the end of my sweater's gray sleeve, "Umm, it's really good to see you again," I hold out my right hand, but quickly drop it back down to my side once I realize she has absolutely no intention of shaking it.

My dad picks that exact moment to break in on our little discussion, if you could even call it that. "Lily? What is it?" He asks, before also falling silent for a short moment. "Jenny…? We weren't expecting you to come home until Christmas day, or at least the eve of..."

"I know," I say softly, searching his eyes for any emotions he might feel toward my early return home; anger, guilt, joy, sorrow, resentment… instead I find nothing. Just a cold, hard, empty stare. "I, umm… well, I graduated, and, well, I got into fashion school here in the city, and I, well, I, uh, wanted to surprise you all. I thought… well, I thought that maybe you might be happy to see me? I mean, I know I put you all through a lot, and I made so many mistakes, but please, please try to listen to me and understand for once. I've changed. I really have." My voice comes out hurried, words being smushed together and spoken so quick that it must have sounded as though I only said four or five words, instead of around seventy.

I am frightened by the fact that my dad's face stays perfectly straight and emotionless, as does Lily's, for at least five minutes after I speak. Dan and Serena had come into the room sometime during, or before my little speech, probably wondering what all the noise was, and now stood beside their parents, just as quiet.

"Ser-Serena? I-I know I did a lot of things to you that I shouldn't have don, but you have to believe me. I'd take it all back if I could. I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. Please, just please, if you could even try to—"

"What you did was unacceptable Jennifer," My dad speaks first, his voice harsh and angry. "Not only before you left for Hudson, but after too. You never should have helped Juliet with everything she did to Serena. It was a horrible thing for you to do, and you should be ashamed of yourself."

"I am. Believe me dad, I really am. I know it was unacceptable, but…"

"But what? You're sorry?" He asks, and all I can manage to do is nod my head up and down in a robotic motion, hot tears already beginning to form at the rims of my blue eyes as he spoke. "You always say that you're sorry Jenny, and then you go and make the same mistakes over and over again. I don't even know how to talk to you anymore. Nothing I ever say seems to have an affect on your actions. You say you've changed, but you haven't. You say you're sorry, but you're not. I'm afraid that you have actually forgotten the meanings of the words 'sorry' and 'changed' a long time ago, and that is beyond my, as well as anyone's, repair."

Of course Serena picks that exact moment to step away from her spot beside my brother, and walk right up to me so that we are face to face, "Saying you're sorry is one thing Jenny. Meaning it is another. I know now you probably want an apology from me, from your dad, from all of us, but... I just don't think I can—any of us can—give you one." She says quietly, and through the tears in my eyes I can just barely make out Dan, my dad, and Lily behind Serena, nodding in obvious agreement. Then I run.

I run out the door and down the spiral staircase, not having the patience to wait on an elevator at the moment. Tears stream down my face now, cascading down my cheeks, rolling off my chin, and soaking into the thin fabric of my favorite scarf—wrapped tightly around my neck. I don't care anymore though. I don't care how I look, or who sees me. Gossip Girl can send out a picture of me crying for everyone to see for all I care. Nothing about New York City matters all of a sudden. Everyone still hates me. I was so incredibly wrong to think that the past could stay in the past; that people could just forgive and forget.

"Jenny! Jenny Humphrey! I have to talk to you. Just... stop running?" Someone calls out from behind me, a person with dark hair, or was that a hat? I shake my head, figuring it's probably Chuck, and keep on running. Then again, why would _Chuck _scream my name, or have to talk to me? I sigh, telling myself again that it has to be Chuck, and running until I've slammed the heavy door to the loft and flopped down on my old bed in my old room, crying my eyes out the way the old me used to.

An hour passes like that, or maybe it was two. I am not exactly keeping track of time, but I finally find the strength and willpower to stand up and pour myself a tall glass of ice water, having cried my eyes completely dry of tears.

At that exact moment I hear a knock on the door, and pause. As if on reflex, I whirl around to look in the nearest mirror and see how I look, just in case it's someone worth looking good for. My mascara and eyeliner had run down my face in long, dark lines, causing me to look like a terrifying raccoon, and my favorite scarf was completely sodden with my salty tears. Aside from that I decided I looked good. Or at least somewhat decent? I sigh, knowing I really look absolutely horrible, and throw my scarf on the floor and quickly washing my face before I walk toward the door. Now I open it up to reveal someone who was probably the last person I expected. "Vanessa," The single word escapes my mouth as I stare at the girl in front of me, her dark curly hair and pale blue eyes a dead giveaway of who she is. "Look, I'm sorry. You probably won't forgive me for everything I've done, just like Dan, Serena, Dad, and Lily didn't, but I really am sorry," I begin to say, hoping that maybe at least she will forgive me, but she just shake her head back and forth. I brace myself for another wave of pain and guilt; another friend the old me managed to turn into an enemy, but it never comes.

"No, Jenny. I am. I never should have stolen that note Nate wrote to you, or gone out with him again when I knew how much you liked him, or called you and asked you to come back to New York City to help Juliet and I take down Serena. It was horrible of me, absolutely terrible, I know it was, and I just hope that you'll forgive me, because nothing you did to me could even compare to how I treated you."

I can't help laughing when she's done talking, which results in Vanessa being very confused when I hug her. "You're practically my sister, Vanessa. How can I _not_ forgive you? Especially when there's hardly anything to forgive."

_Gossip Girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. What did I see today? Little J spotted running down the streets of New York with tears streaming down her face. Has the pressure of being home gotten to you already, J? It seems that you're not as strong as I used to think you were. Oh well, you win some, you lose some, right? It's just too bad for you that I'm keeping a record of your loses, and so far... well, lets just say it's not a very pretty list. _

_You know you love me.  
__XOXO,  
__Gossip Girl_

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Sorry! No Jenny/Nate stuff in this chapter, but I promise they'll both be in the next one! Advice, tips, corrections, compliments, and criticism from you guys both motivate me and make me a better writer, so please put everything you want to say in a review!


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